Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
