Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
