My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
