hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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