Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
