im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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