bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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