Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
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Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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