D3 body, D1 cock
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
