that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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