So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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