but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
