Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
