So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize