can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ladies don't puke and tell
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
