drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I licked your asshole in confidence.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
