found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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