id be glad to
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Every concussion has its silver lining
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
