Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
