What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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