It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
