Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
