Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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