You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
