Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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