yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dicks are not precious.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
