I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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