apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
