so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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