I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
