I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The uberlube is also flammable
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
