is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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