Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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