Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
