You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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