You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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