I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
