So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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