worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
