she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
my nose is crying tears of wow.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
