I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
