sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Randomize
