i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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