I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
