I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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