Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
