You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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