I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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