How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
