sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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