I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
