More tranny stories later!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You need Xanax blowdarts
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
