woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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