i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize