My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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