32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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