I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
