Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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