is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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