If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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