God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
