It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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