Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
