you would pick up someone in the library
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
