Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
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Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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