hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
