My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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