I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my shit smells like andre
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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